1916 Yearbook
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Title
1916 Yearbook
Description
THE DAILY LOAF.
ANDY JAEGER
HELD AT ROME
INTERNATIONAL COMPLICATIONS
LIKELY TO ARISE
Rome, Italy.—Anthony Jaeger was arrested here last night for throwing a bomb
at the statue of Virgil. It is thought that
the act is due to the fact that he never
could translate the Aeniad whilie at College, and he hoped in this way to somewhat recompense himself for the many
tedious hours spent in the study of our
most famous author.
Note: The following heart-rending
ballad was found in the desk of a prominent Collegiate student of this institution.
Needless to say he is a Day-dodger. Either
he or the sender may have same by calling
at the President's office during any Faculty Meeting.
THE POEM WE FOUND
(Don't Blame It on Us!)
My dear and most respected sir,
I send you this your love to stir.
'Tis you I've chosen first of all
On whom to make a Leap Year call.
I've given you this foremost chance
A home for you I would enhance.
Your heart and hand I ask in jest,
And hope you'll grant my fond request,
Your answer saying 'Nay' or 'Yes.'
But if your hand does not incline
In wedlock clasp to join with mine,
Then you must Leap-Year law obey
And give to me ten dollars pay,
To buy, sweetheart, a handsome dress,
I'll ask no more and take no less.
Now you may think this letter funny
But I must have either man or money.
So now do send me your reply,
And I'll be your wife until you die.
And if you think that I'm a dandy
Send me a box of sweetest candy.
And if the writer's name you guess
Send this back to my address;
And if for me there is no hope
Send me back six yards of rope.
With lots of love and kisses,
From one who wants to be your Mrs.
(Signed) L'Incognita.
MUSICAL COMMENTS
"His middle tones were slightly throaty,
but above the staff he reminded one of the
Revelli and of ancient days"—says Father
M., leader of the Glee Club. Please,
Father, if his tones was throaty, wasn't
they lungy, tonguey, mouthy, and dia-
frammy, too?
JOE SCHMIDT HELD BY
GERMAN GOVERNMENT
Berlin, Germany.—Joe Schmidt, the
handsome American bas-drummer in His
Majesty's War Band is being held by the
German Government on a charge of insanity. It is claimed that he, in secret, so perfected the imitation of the explosion of a
bomb, that whenever he now bangs his
drum in that manner, a few soldiers
around him drop dead from fright. He
was wont to amuse himself several hours
each day in this manner, thus causing a
great many more widows in the Empire.
The Imperial Police have him in custody
at the present time, awaiting examination
by the Royal Insanity Board.
THOMAN MAY BE
ELECTROCUTED
Thoman used to be a Miller and a Coleman living in a Linnenkamp, but it is impossible to tell where he will be to Morrow,
because he is such a Wolfe to get Holtz.
At present he is a Cashman and thus his
money Shields him from the Hand of the
law.
He is quite a spend-thrift, however, so
thus each day he goes Morrin debt, even
giving Peiffer and ice cream Cone, when
there was Supon the table. But one good
thing is that he doesn't O'Connor anything,
but because he tried to be both a Barron
and a King he will soon be given a thousand Volz by the government.
BOOK REVIEWS
Innocents Abroad Zeman and Ruhl
The Call of the Wild Dinner Bell
The Crisis Greek Classes
Talks in a Library See Murphy
Travels with a Donkey Will Rogers
The Silent Night June 16th
Freckles McGivern
The Age of Fable Freshman Year
Up from Slavery Finishing Chemistry
PUBLIC NOTICE
During the summer
months
THE AGONY QUARTETTE
Composed of
Morrow, McGrath, Volz & O'Connor
will give their special serenades at
the extraordinary low price of
ONE BUCK A SONG
Write, Care St. John's, City Tel. Dav. 13
ANDY JAEGER
HELD AT ROME
INTERNATIONAL COMPLICATIONS
LIKELY TO ARISE
Rome, Italy.—Anthony Jaeger was arrested here last night for throwing a bomb
at the statue of Virgil. It is thought that
the act is due to the fact that he never
could translate the Aeniad whilie at College, and he hoped in this way to somewhat recompense himself for the many
tedious hours spent in the study of our
most famous author.
Note: The following heart-rending
ballad was found in the desk of a prominent Collegiate student of this institution.
Needless to say he is a Day-dodger. Either
he or the sender may have same by calling
at the President's office during any Faculty Meeting.
THE POEM WE FOUND
(Don't Blame It on Us!)
My dear and most respected sir,
I send you this your love to stir.
'Tis you I've chosen first of all
On whom to make a Leap Year call.
I've given you this foremost chance
A home for you I would enhance.
Your heart and hand I ask in jest,
And hope you'll grant my fond request,
Your answer saying 'Nay' or 'Yes.'
But if your hand does not incline
In wedlock clasp to join with mine,
Then you must Leap-Year law obey
And give to me ten dollars pay,
To buy, sweetheart, a handsome dress,
I'll ask no more and take no less.
Now you may think this letter funny
But I must have either man or money.
So now do send me your reply,
And I'll be your wife until you die.
And if you think that I'm a dandy
Send me a box of sweetest candy.
And if the writer's name you guess
Send this back to my address;
And if for me there is no hope
Send me back six yards of rope.
With lots of love and kisses,
From one who wants to be your Mrs.
(Signed) L'Incognita.
MUSICAL COMMENTS
"His middle tones were slightly throaty,
but above the staff he reminded one of the
Revelli and of ancient days"—says Father
M., leader of the Glee Club. Please,
Father, if his tones was throaty, wasn't
they lungy, tonguey, mouthy, and dia-
frammy, too?
JOE SCHMIDT HELD BY
GERMAN GOVERNMENT
Berlin, Germany.—Joe Schmidt, the
handsome American bas-drummer in His
Majesty's War Band is being held by the
German Government on a charge of insanity. It is claimed that he, in secret, so perfected the imitation of the explosion of a
bomb, that whenever he now bangs his
drum in that manner, a few soldiers
around him drop dead from fright. He
was wont to amuse himself several hours
each day in this manner, thus causing a
great many more widows in the Empire.
The Imperial Police have him in custody
at the present time, awaiting examination
by the Royal Insanity Board.
THOMAN MAY BE
ELECTROCUTED
Thoman used to be a Miller and a Coleman living in a Linnenkamp, but it is impossible to tell where he will be to Morrow,
because he is such a Wolfe to get Holtz.
At present he is a Cashman and thus his
money Shields him from the Hand of the
law.
He is quite a spend-thrift, however, so
thus each day he goes Morrin debt, even
giving Peiffer and ice cream Cone, when
there was Supon the table. But one good
thing is that he doesn't O'Connor anything,
but because he tried to be both a Barron
and a King he will soon be given a thousand Volz by the government.
BOOK REVIEWS
Innocents Abroad Zeman and Ruhl
The Call of the Wild Dinner Bell
The Crisis Greek Classes
Talks in a Library See Murphy
Travels with a Donkey Will Rogers
The Silent Night June 16th
Freckles McGivern
The Age of Fable Freshman Year
Up from Slavery Finishing Chemistry
PUBLIC NOTICE
During the summer
months
THE AGONY QUARTETTE
Composed of
Morrow, McGrath, Volz & O'Connor
will give their special serenades at
the extraordinary low price of
ONE BUCK A SONG
Write, Care St. John's, City Tel. Dav. 13
Date
1916
Rights
St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/3515