1922 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1922 Yearbook
Description
The Ambrosian
Page 2 LA PSYCHOSOMNA AND BUNKO
LA PSYCHOSOMNO AND
BUNKO
The Psycho Co.
Publishers
Entered as 1-2 matter Feb. 31,
1922. At the Filbert, under the
fourth act of the Follies of 1922.
All unsolicited articles and pictures sent to the Chief Bunker
are sent at the owner's risk. Far
be it from us to take any glory
from the rightful author; far be
it.
RATES
Single copy Nonsense
By the year -Free
ADVERTISING RATES
You takes your chance.
Psychist Bouquot
Somnist West
Bunkist Boyle
"Aw, cantcha take a Joke?"
—Crestani.
DISARMAMENT
The statesmen of the world are
now resting from the effects of
the disarmament conference held
at Washington some months past.
Have they accomplished anything? Have they fixed matters
so as to safeguard the civilized
world from being drawn into
more wars? Time will tell, but
we the editors of La Psychosom-
no and Bunko have decided that
the conference was not a success.
We have decided that the methods of the delegates were all
wrong. And we furthermore
state that we have formulated a
plan whereby this world of ours
shall be, will be, and has got to
be Safe, Sane, and Peaceful.
In stating our plans we will
take the case of our own country
first: (1) reorganize the government on a strictly cash basis so
that Congress would not be pestered with so many bills; (2)
send athletic coaches to train the
seamen of those countries for
cross-country hiking so that when
forced to retreat after a losing
battle they would be able to keep
their retreat well organized on
land after they ran out of water;
(3) as treating is a forgotten art
in this country, supply each of
our soldiers with a quart bottle of
Ho-made Hootch so that, upon
meeting a footsore and weary
enemy, our own well trained
fighting man would be able to
treat his opponent with respect;
(4) issue each senator and representative a special bale of hand-
picked red-tape guaranteed to
give immediate and appropriate
service upon all occasions; (5)
establish in each of the four divisions of the United States one
open air voting booth for the
ladies and hold all elections on a
rainy day.
We believe that these few
plans would be sufficient as a
starter to completely safeguard
the interests of our fair country.
To complete our task we find it
necessary to devote some attention to foreign nations: (1) present to England a company of
blood-thirsty Sien Feiners to act
as a body-guard to Lloyd-George;
(2) send German agents into
France to sell small life-like
images of the late Kaiser; (3)
allow Japan to settle in California; perhaps Hollywood would
then he shoved out (Do you think
Hollywood?); (4) make the late
Kaiser a traffic cop on the busiest
corner in Paris; (5) appoint
Maggie Jiggs president of Russia.
PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY
James Barron, Checker Expert
—Checks everything from extra
tooth brushes to the fifth course
served at S. A. C. daily banquets.
When in need of transportation
see Coach Lampe. He Stages
anvthing.
Rock Island Post-office carries
a complete line of corner decorations for envelopes. See J. B.
Reidy, our Davenport agent.
Latest edition of Monte Carlo
right in Siberia. Come up and
take your chance. Lawler Bros,
and Kelly.
Do your brakes refuse to work?
See me and avoid accidents. I
can make a Short Stop.—W.
Schoenfelder.
Extra Special—A hot time
gladly furnished. I use my head
when lighting fires.—Signor Giovanni Crestani.
SONG-FEST?
The song recital given by Mc-
Donough last Thursday at his
home on 205 Third Floor was a
success(?). Mac's first song was
"Shall We Gather at the River",
and it was lucky for him that
the assembly was not gathered
near any river. He then announced that he would sing
"Saturday Night". The audience got up to leave, saying that
they were glad the suspense was
over, and that they positively
would not come back Saturday
night.
One Hundred Forty
Page 2 LA PSYCHOSOMNA AND BUNKO
LA PSYCHOSOMNO AND
BUNKO
The Psycho Co.
Publishers
Entered as 1-2 matter Feb. 31,
1922. At the Filbert, under the
fourth act of the Follies of 1922.
All unsolicited articles and pictures sent to the Chief Bunker
are sent at the owner's risk. Far
be it from us to take any glory
from the rightful author; far be
it.
RATES
Single copy Nonsense
By the year -Free
ADVERTISING RATES
You takes your chance.
Psychist Bouquot
Somnist West
Bunkist Boyle
"Aw, cantcha take a Joke?"
—Crestani.
DISARMAMENT
The statesmen of the world are
now resting from the effects of
the disarmament conference held
at Washington some months past.
Have they accomplished anything? Have they fixed matters
so as to safeguard the civilized
world from being drawn into
more wars? Time will tell, but
we the editors of La Psychosom-
no and Bunko have decided that
the conference was not a success.
We have decided that the methods of the delegates were all
wrong. And we furthermore
state that we have formulated a
plan whereby this world of ours
shall be, will be, and has got to
be Safe, Sane, and Peaceful.
In stating our plans we will
take the case of our own country
first: (1) reorganize the government on a strictly cash basis so
that Congress would not be pestered with so many bills; (2)
send athletic coaches to train the
seamen of those countries for
cross-country hiking so that when
forced to retreat after a losing
battle they would be able to keep
their retreat well organized on
land after they ran out of water;
(3) as treating is a forgotten art
in this country, supply each of
our soldiers with a quart bottle of
Ho-made Hootch so that, upon
meeting a footsore and weary
enemy, our own well trained
fighting man would be able to
treat his opponent with respect;
(4) issue each senator and representative a special bale of hand-
picked red-tape guaranteed to
give immediate and appropriate
service upon all occasions; (5)
establish in each of the four divisions of the United States one
open air voting booth for the
ladies and hold all elections on a
rainy day.
We believe that these few
plans would be sufficient as a
starter to completely safeguard
the interests of our fair country.
To complete our task we find it
necessary to devote some attention to foreign nations: (1) present to England a company of
blood-thirsty Sien Feiners to act
as a body-guard to Lloyd-George;
(2) send German agents into
France to sell small life-like
images of the late Kaiser; (3)
allow Japan to settle in California; perhaps Hollywood would
then he shoved out (Do you think
Hollywood?); (4) make the late
Kaiser a traffic cop on the busiest
corner in Paris; (5) appoint
Maggie Jiggs president of Russia.
PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY
James Barron, Checker Expert
—Checks everything from extra
tooth brushes to the fifth course
served at S. A. C. daily banquets.
When in need of transportation
see Coach Lampe. He Stages
anvthing.
Rock Island Post-office carries
a complete line of corner decorations for envelopes. See J. B.
Reidy, our Davenport agent.
Latest edition of Monte Carlo
right in Siberia. Come up and
take your chance. Lawler Bros,
and Kelly.
Do your brakes refuse to work?
See me and avoid accidents. I
can make a Short Stop.—W.
Schoenfelder.
Extra Special—A hot time
gladly furnished. I use my head
when lighting fires.—Signor Giovanni Crestani.
SONG-FEST?
The song recital given by Mc-
Donough last Thursday at his
home on 205 Third Floor was a
success(?). Mac's first song was
"Shall We Gather at the River",
and it was lucky for him that
the assembly was not gathered
near any river. He then announced that he would sing
"Saturday Night". The audience got up to leave, saying that
they were glad the suspense was
over, and that they positively
would not come back Saturday
night.
One Hundred Forty
Date
1922
Rights
St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/8214