1917 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1917 Yearbook
Description
TINY TOPICS
Wendeline Miller came back to demand the
rest of his education. Won't someone please
give it to him.
It is a wise student that knows his own
professor.
If silence is golden, when will Frank Mc-
Givern be worth thirty cents ?
Cseser was ambitious, Cseser got it in the
neck; therefore let your ambition be known
only to your professors.
LINIMENT TO THE LOVELORN AND
ADVICE TO THOSE IN ADVERSITY
By Dora Beans Giblets.
My Dear Miss Giblets:—
Will you be so kind as to instruct me in
the etiquette of social banquet.
ARTHUR T.
One of your prepossessing appearance and
truly Chesterfieldian air could hardly be
aided by any words of mine.
Dear D. B. G.:—
Would I be misunderstood if I asked for
a room near Holland? H. H.
O, dear, no, Halsey. Everybody would understand it perfectly.
Dear Dora:—
The day is too short for me to accomplish
all that I want to do. Is there anv wav by
which I can make it longer? GEORGE M.
We would advise a snorter sojourn at the
table during meal time. This would add
material to the length of the day.
Miss Giblets:—
1 am behind in my studies. What shall I
do? ANXIOUS ANTHONY.
Eat some tomatoes and catch up, Tony
dear.
Dear Miss Giblets:—
Please tell me a simple and hygenic way
by which I can rid the premises of the dog-
that digs up my flower beds.
Certainly, suggest that the students be
given hash some morning.
Dear D. B. Giblets:—
None of the girls in Davenport love me.
What shall I do? MOURNFUL MUGGSY.
Enlist in the cavalry regiment.
THE NIGHTMARES OF NEWMAN, or
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE?
"Horrors," wailed Flanagan at the breakfast table, "1 had an awful dream last
night."
'What was it?" asked sympathetic Bob.
"I dreamt that I had feet like Jaeger's, a
smile like Butterfield's, hair like Costello's,
freckles like Jim Hannon's, an appetite like
Morrin's, a complexion like McGady's, an
ambition like O'Malley's, an accent like
Devlin's, lived in DeWitt, and only came up
to reel McLain's shoulder.
And at the next table Coonan was heard
to say: "You win."
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
One day when BEECHER did not know
his LESSIN he went out behind the MILLER'S BARNES to cook ROOT'S in a
Supan. He did not have a COVER but when
they were DONAHUE that suited him he
put in MOORE WATER and it turned them
several other HUGHES, including BROWN
and MAYHEWS. Down on the LEE by the
WEISBROOK the CORYN BLOOMS. He
knew all the WEIL that it was against the
RUHLS to go down there in his FORD. He
could see at a GLANZ that it would not
COSTELLO anything so he tried to persuade him by FLATTERY and even promised to HAND him an ice-cream CONE when
he returned. Maurice promised to WALZ
down through the BUTTERFIELD and do
every thing in his POWERS to get them. On
his way he saw two HAWKS and a WOLFE
fightingT over a dead HERRING but a
BRUHN came alone and took it. Beecher
said that the soup was for the KING of
SPAIN but we think he gave it to the BAR-
RONS of TROY.
ODE TO OUR FRIEND FROM DIXON
Could we but see you once again, 0, dear fat
friend of ours.
We'd loudly weep upon your neck, and
smother you with flowers,
We'd drag you to the gym store, Vine, although you weigh a ton.
And make you buy the boys a treat. Aye,
each and every one.
We miss you from the table, and from the
study hall
But standing on the boulevard, we miss you
most of all.
We well remember how you smiled, you
sunny little cuss,
As you stood up in the hall of fame and
grinned at all of us.
We miss you from the smoker, where you
used to mootch P. A.
Then how we watched you till you bought—
they swipe your can away,
We'd like to meet you once again, 'twould
fill our happy cup,
To drag you to the candy store and make
you set 'em up.
ANON.
We are requested to print the following—
All persons indebted to our store are requested to call and settle. Those who are
indebted to our store, and don't know it,
will please call and find out. Those, knowing themselves to be indebted and not wishing to call, will please stay in one place long
enough for us to catch them.
THE BOOK STORE.
Harry—"What do you think are the most
exciting moments in college life?"
Rcot—"Well, I think unwrapping your
bundle to see what the laundry sent back is
almost as exciting as coming down stairs on
Christmas morning to see what Santa Claus
left in your stocking."
Wendeline Miller came back to demand the
rest of his education. Won't someone please
give it to him.
It is a wise student that knows his own
professor.
If silence is golden, when will Frank Mc-
Givern be worth thirty cents ?
Cseser was ambitious, Cseser got it in the
neck; therefore let your ambition be known
only to your professors.
LINIMENT TO THE LOVELORN AND
ADVICE TO THOSE IN ADVERSITY
By Dora Beans Giblets.
My Dear Miss Giblets:—
Will you be so kind as to instruct me in
the etiquette of social banquet.
ARTHUR T.
One of your prepossessing appearance and
truly Chesterfieldian air could hardly be
aided by any words of mine.
Dear D. B. G.:—
Would I be misunderstood if I asked for
a room near Holland? H. H.
O, dear, no, Halsey. Everybody would understand it perfectly.
Dear Dora:—
The day is too short for me to accomplish
all that I want to do. Is there anv wav by
which I can make it longer? GEORGE M.
We would advise a snorter sojourn at the
table during meal time. This would add
material to the length of the day.
Miss Giblets:—
1 am behind in my studies. What shall I
do? ANXIOUS ANTHONY.
Eat some tomatoes and catch up, Tony
dear.
Dear Miss Giblets:—
Please tell me a simple and hygenic way
by which I can rid the premises of the dog-
that digs up my flower beds.
Certainly, suggest that the students be
given hash some morning.
Dear D. B. Giblets:—
None of the girls in Davenport love me.
What shall I do? MOURNFUL MUGGSY.
Enlist in the cavalry regiment.
THE NIGHTMARES OF NEWMAN, or
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE?
"Horrors," wailed Flanagan at the breakfast table, "1 had an awful dream last
night."
'What was it?" asked sympathetic Bob.
"I dreamt that I had feet like Jaeger's, a
smile like Butterfield's, hair like Costello's,
freckles like Jim Hannon's, an appetite like
Morrin's, a complexion like McGady's, an
ambition like O'Malley's, an accent like
Devlin's, lived in DeWitt, and only came up
to reel McLain's shoulder.
And at the next table Coonan was heard
to say: "You win."
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
One day when BEECHER did not know
his LESSIN he went out behind the MILLER'S BARNES to cook ROOT'S in a
Supan. He did not have a COVER but when
they were DONAHUE that suited him he
put in MOORE WATER and it turned them
several other HUGHES, including BROWN
and MAYHEWS. Down on the LEE by the
WEISBROOK the CORYN BLOOMS. He
knew all the WEIL that it was against the
RUHLS to go down there in his FORD. He
could see at a GLANZ that it would not
COSTELLO anything so he tried to persuade him by FLATTERY and even promised to HAND him an ice-cream CONE when
he returned. Maurice promised to WALZ
down through the BUTTERFIELD and do
every thing in his POWERS to get them. On
his way he saw two HAWKS and a WOLFE
fightingT over a dead HERRING but a
BRUHN came alone and took it. Beecher
said that the soup was for the KING of
SPAIN but we think he gave it to the BAR-
RONS of TROY.
ODE TO OUR FRIEND FROM DIXON
Could we but see you once again, 0, dear fat
friend of ours.
We'd loudly weep upon your neck, and
smother you with flowers,
We'd drag you to the gym store, Vine, although you weigh a ton.
And make you buy the boys a treat. Aye,
each and every one.
We miss you from the table, and from the
study hall
But standing on the boulevard, we miss you
most of all.
We well remember how you smiled, you
sunny little cuss,
As you stood up in the hall of fame and
grinned at all of us.
We miss you from the smoker, where you
used to mootch P. A.
Then how we watched you till you bought—
they swipe your can away,
We'd like to meet you once again, 'twould
fill our happy cup,
To drag you to the candy store and make
you set 'em up.
ANON.
We are requested to print the following—
All persons indebted to our store are requested to call and settle. Those who are
indebted to our store, and don't know it,
will please call and find out. Those, knowing themselves to be indebted and not wishing to call, will please stay in one place long
enough for us to catch them.
THE BOOK STORE.
Harry—"What do you think are the most
exciting moments in college life?"
Rcot—"Well, I think unwrapping your
bundle to see what the laundry sent back is
almost as exciting as coming down stairs on
Christmas morning to see what Santa Claus
left in your stocking."
Date
1917
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/2169