1917 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1917 Yearbook
Description
WANTED—Position. I am a regular guy.
I wear a belt; wear garters, carry a handkerchief and everything. Have seen a lot
of the world, as I live in Rock Island. The
boys call me a ras-cal, but I am a regular
down-town slicker, that's what I am. I have
only one tooth and I am qualified for biting-
holes in doughnuts. In answering this Ad.,
please state pay, hours, and opportunity for
advancements.—Arthur Hurlev.
Little McGivern—"Do you know that
Kaiser Wilhelm washes his feet twelve times
a day?"
Big Mc—"Why does he do that?"
Little Mc.—"Because he smells defeat."
M. of D.—"What poor fish did that?"
Nhare—"It must have been Herring."
Jim.—"Did you hear me singing last
night?"
Ed.—"Yes, I couldn't get my window
shut."
Rev. T.—"What kind of a word is 'egg'?"
Malloy—"It is a noun."
Rev. T.—"What gender is it?"
Malloy—"Nobody knows until it is
hatched."
Scrip. Prof.—"Why did the High-priests
rent their garments?"
Millet—"They didn't have the price to buy
em.
Eng. Prof.—"Leo, give me a sentence with
the word 'income' in it."
L. D.—"I opened the door and income the
clog."
Mr. Jones—"Do you understand everything about these figures?"
P. De R.—"No. Where do they go when
vou erase them?"
Ed-in-Chief—"You fellows need to take a
complete rest during Easter vacation."
Joke Editor—"I intend to write jokes for
the Annual."
Ed-in-Chief—"O, that will be alright, just
so it isn't brain work."
Bob.—"Why do you like the day-dodgers
from Moline best?"
M. D.—"Because it takes live ones to get
to school on time."
Rev. T.—"Give me a sentence with the
word 'dozen' in it."
Lew.—"I dozen know of such a word."
Jim.—"What was that, a wreck on the
Rock Island?"
Tarn.—"No, that's Tony and Dave winding their Ingersolls."
The one who thinks these jokes are poor
Would quickly change his views
Could he compare the jokes we print
With those we could not use.
U. of C.
Call of the Wild.
YE GOSSIP
(Not affiliated with ye calendar)
Ye School begins.
Ye bugs are thick around Ye gas lights.
Ye Aggies go for Ye keys of Ye skat'n^
rink.
Ye profs go away—except two.
Ye Coach purchases Ye rah rah haircut for
Ye sum of two bits.
No heat in Ye chapel.
Ye football team gets walloped.
Ye Thanksgiving Day.
Ye gods.
Ye St. Ambrose Day.
Ye vacation.
Back on Ye job again.
Ye Brown visits Ye Tri-City Barber College.
Ye beautiful hair cut. lOtf.
Ye new M. of D. announces himself in Ye
Auditorium.
Ye basket-ball team wallop Ye Indians.
Ye Millet snores in Ye sleep. Hail gentle
spring, and it hailed.
Ye book store announces that no more credit
after Easter.
Ye Ao-p-ies are getting scarce.
Ye Easter vacation. Home again to Ye big
eats.
Notice: Seeds of kindness cannot be procured at the bookstore.
Light occupations: Looking for signs of
intelligence in a physiology class.
I wear a belt; wear garters, carry a handkerchief and everything. Have seen a lot
of the world, as I live in Rock Island. The
boys call me a ras-cal, but I am a regular
down-town slicker, that's what I am. I have
only one tooth and I am qualified for biting-
holes in doughnuts. In answering this Ad.,
please state pay, hours, and opportunity for
advancements.—Arthur Hurlev.
Little McGivern—"Do you know that
Kaiser Wilhelm washes his feet twelve times
a day?"
Big Mc—"Why does he do that?"
Little Mc.—"Because he smells defeat."
M. of D.—"What poor fish did that?"
Nhare—"It must have been Herring."
Jim.—"Did you hear me singing last
night?"
Ed.—"Yes, I couldn't get my window
shut."
Rev. T.—"What kind of a word is 'egg'?"
Malloy—"It is a noun."
Rev. T.—"What gender is it?"
Malloy—"Nobody knows until it is
hatched."
Scrip. Prof.—"Why did the High-priests
rent their garments?"
Millet—"They didn't have the price to buy
em.
Eng. Prof.—"Leo, give me a sentence with
the word 'income' in it."
L. D.—"I opened the door and income the
clog."
Mr. Jones—"Do you understand everything about these figures?"
P. De R.—"No. Where do they go when
vou erase them?"
Ed-in-Chief—"You fellows need to take a
complete rest during Easter vacation."
Joke Editor—"I intend to write jokes for
the Annual."
Ed-in-Chief—"O, that will be alright, just
so it isn't brain work."
Bob.—"Why do you like the day-dodgers
from Moline best?"
M. D.—"Because it takes live ones to get
to school on time."
Rev. T.—"Give me a sentence with the
word 'dozen' in it."
Lew.—"I dozen know of such a word."
Jim.—"What was that, a wreck on the
Rock Island?"
Tarn.—"No, that's Tony and Dave winding their Ingersolls."
The one who thinks these jokes are poor
Would quickly change his views
Could he compare the jokes we print
With those we could not use.
U. of C.
Call of the Wild.
YE GOSSIP
(Not affiliated with ye calendar)
Ye School begins.
Ye bugs are thick around Ye gas lights.
Ye Aggies go for Ye keys of Ye skat'n^
rink.
Ye profs go away—except two.
Ye Coach purchases Ye rah rah haircut for
Ye sum of two bits.
No heat in Ye chapel.
Ye football team gets walloped.
Ye Thanksgiving Day.
Ye gods.
Ye St. Ambrose Day.
Ye vacation.
Back on Ye job again.
Ye Brown visits Ye Tri-City Barber College.
Ye beautiful hair cut. lOtf.
Ye new M. of D. announces himself in Ye
Auditorium.
Ye basket-ball team wallop Ye Indians.
Ye Millet snores in Ye sleep. Hail gentle
spring, and it hailed.
Ye book store announces that no more credit
after Easter.
Ye Ao-p-ies are getting scarce.
Ye Easter vacation. Home again to Ye big
eats.
Notice: Seeds of kindness cannot be procured at the bookstore.
Light occupations: Looking for signs of
intelligence in a physiology class.
Date
1917
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/2168