1921 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1921 Yearbook
Description
Weather-
or not.
LA PSYCHOSOMNO
AND BUNKO
Vol. 98° Shade. No Shade PASSEMALL, ISLE-O-NOFLUNK, TOMORROW
No. 45486.88
MASTER MIND OF UNDERWORLD APPREHENDED
Gannon Wilts Under
Cross Examination
TEN CAPTURED
SEVERAL SCARED
NOBODY HURT
In Exchange of Shots Lucier
Shoots "Seben"
PASSEMALL, ISLE-O-NOFLUNK.— At
last the members of the vicious gang
of tunnel students have been scared in
their den. No other than the Hon. John
J. Gannon is at their head.
The entire gang to the number of
ten were taken into custody by the M.
of D. and his posse of deputies. It
was only after long and tiresome efforts on the part of the authorities that
the "gang" and their place of hiding
was discovered. So well fortified were
the culprits that it was necessary to use
the methods of the Irish martyrs to
bring them from their lair.
At the "carpet" meeting of the authorities, John Gannon, the notorious
line-breaker, broke down and confessed
his power of mind over matter with
the "gang".
In the excitement which followed the
tipping off that they were being trailed,
many were injured in the rush for
exits. Many shots were exchanged and
some were hit in the fracas. In the
shooting, Leo Lucier, the pie boy, shot
"seben".
The case of the students was taken
before the Pres. and jury, and after
many hours of deliberation all of the
gang that were captured were indicted.
A sentence of nineteen Wednesdays
and Saturdays of blacklist and fourteen
weeks of jug was settled on all members with the exception of Gannon,
who was given two years of hard labor
and a warning.
CONDITIONS IN MEXICO
By Captain G. Felix Shirk
PASSEMALL, ISLE-O-NOFLUNK.— The
last great occurrence in Mexico was
the self-inauguration of General,—but
that's
a name? — it sounds like
"Son-of-a-gun" to me. Whoever he is,
I know him well. I met them all while
on my tour of inspection some two years
ago. I also met the late Francisco Villain and the still later General Wurta,
or as the illiterates say, "Hurta". The
most renowned of these great Mexican
"Dips" (short for diplomat, lest you
be misled) was one Venustiana Car-
ranza. I will endeavor to give you a
description of the life of this great
man. Ah! To know him was to
love him.
Carranza was born with a full set
of chin whiskers in the state of Sonora
the year the pieplant froze. His folks
named him Venustiana because he reminded them so much of Venus—he
was so different. At the age of four
his parents decided to make him president of Mexico, a position he held
whenever there was a bullfight and the
national dignity had to be upheld.
At the age of five, little Venustiana
started for the public school, but he
never got there. He decided that the
time was ripe to begin his political
career, and he returned home, secured
a six-shooter and shot his way gradually to the governorship of Sonora.
He was governor of this state for a
long time and made such a good impression that somebody named a phonograph after his state, and a cigar-
maker in Tombstone, Arizona, who
didn't like Mexicans, named a cigar
after Carranza had killed off half the
smoking population of Sonora.
Everybody liked little Venustiana.
Those who disliked him didn't remain
in Sonora. To sum up Carranza's character in a few words, it is perhaps only
necessary to say that he is a great Mexican diplomat.
I Thank You.
BOY EATS CAMEL
He Is Quite Young and Finds It
Very Annoying
Passemall, Isle-0-Noflunk.— Several members of the college governing
board were greatly surprised to learn
that a small boy still in the abbreviated
trouser age, indulges in the art of
Camel digesting. But, nevertheless,
notwithstanding the fact, such is the
case.
We will not mention any names, but
the aforementioned small boy is a resident of the second floor (while in
school) and of Monroe county at other
times. He was discovered at his favorite pastime of eating cigarettes one
evening last fall.
How It Happened
A disturbance in the hall, on the
night mentioned, caused the prefect of
the floor to investigate. While passing
the door pf the toilet he noticed a flash
of light. On entering he discovered
the young boy in the act of tramping
a cigarette "to death". The prefect
ordered the young man to pick up the
remains of the desert pony, which the
youth did pronto. "Now eat it," was
the unceremonious verdict of the
guardian of order. With the aid of
numerous drinks of water the once
pleasing camel was taken into the digestive organs, although it was very
unwilling.
It has been rumored that the boy did
not spend more than two weeks in the
infirmary.
THE WEATHER
Today: Not so good; cold showers
in the gymnasium.
Tomorrow: Fair; hot showers.
Next Week: Violent storm promised.
Wear your rubbers.
Page 137
or not.
LA PSYCHOSOMNO
AND BUNKO
Vol. 98° Shade. No Shade PASSEMALL, ISLE-O-NOFLUNK, TOMORROW
No. 45486.88
MASTER MIND OF UNDERWORLD APPREHENDED
Gannon Wilts Under
Cross Examination
TEN CAPTURED
SEVERAL SCARED
NOBODY HURT
In Exchange of Shots Lucier
Shoots "Seben"
PASSEMALL, ISLE-O-NOFLUNK.— At
last the members of the vicious gang
of tunnel students have been scared in
their den. No other than the Hon. John
J. Gannon is at their head.
The entire gang to the number of
ten were taken into custody by the M.
of D. and his posse of deputies. It
was only after long and tiresome efforts on the part of the authorities that
the "gang" and their place of hiding
was discovered. So well fortified were
the culprits that it was necessary to use
the methods of the Irish martyrs to
bring them from their lair.
At the "carpet" meeting of the authorities, John Gannon, the notorious
line-breaker, broke down and confessed
his power of mind over matter with
the "gang".
In the excitement which followed the
tipping off that they were being trailed,
many were injured in the rush for
exits. Many shots were exchanged and
some were hit in the fracas. In the
shooting, Leo Lucier, the pie boy, shot
"seben".
The case of the students was taken
before the Pres. and jury, and after
many hours of deliberation all of the
gang that were captured were indicted.
A sentence of nineteen Wednesdays
and Saturdays of blacklist and fourteen
weeks of jug was settled on all members with the exception of Gannon,
who was given two years of hard labor
and a warning.
CONDITIONS IN MEXICO
By Captain G. Felix Shirk
PASSEMALL, ISLE-O-NOFLUNK.— The
last great occurrence in Mexico was
the self-inauguration of General,—but
that's
a name? — it sounds like
"Son-of-a-gun" to me. Whoever he is,
I know him well. I met them all while
on my tour of inspection some two years
ago. I also met the late Francisco Villain and the still later General Wurta,
or as the illiterates say, "Hurta". The
most renowned of these great Mexican
"Dips" (short for diplomat, lest you
be misled) was one Venustiana Car-
ranza. I will endeavor to give you a
description of the life of this great
man. Ah! To know him was to
love him.
Carranza was born with a full set
of chin whiskers in the state of Sonora
the year the pieplant froze. His folks
named him Venustiana because he reminded them so much of Venus—he
was so different. At the age of four
his parents decided to make him president of Mexico, a position he held
whenever there was a bullfight and the
national dignity had to be upheld.
At the age of five, little Venustiana
started for the public school, but he
never got there. He decided that the
time was ripe to begin his political
career, and he returned home, secured
a six-shooter and shot his way gradually to the governorship of Sonora.
He was governor of this state for a
long time and made such a good impression that somebody named a phonograph after his state, and a cigar-
maker in Tombstone, Arizona, who
didn't like Mexicans, named a cigar
after Carranza had killed off half the
smoking population of Sonora.
Everybody liked little Venustiana.
Those who disliked him didn't remain
in Sonora. To sum up Carranza's character in a few words, it is perhaps only
necessary to say that he is a great Mexican diplomat.
I Thank You.
BOY EATS CAMEL
He Is Quite Young and Finds It
Very Annoying
Passemall, Isle-0-Noflunk.— Several members of the college governing
board were greatly surprised to learn
that a small boy still in the abbreviated
trouser age, indulges in the art of
Camel digesting. But, nevertheless,
notwithstanding the fact, such is the
case.
We will not mention any names, but
the aforementioned small boy is a resident of the second floor (while in
school) and of Monroe county at other
times. He was discovered at his favorite pastime of eating cigarettes one
evening last fall.
How It Happened
A disturbance in the hall, on the
night mentioned, caused the prefect of
the floor to investigate. While passing
the door pf the toilet he noticed a flash
of light. On entering he discovered
the young boy in the act of tramping
a cigarette "to death". The prefect
ordered the young man to pick up the
remains of the desert pony, which the
youth did pronto. "Now eat it," was
the unceremonious verdict of the
guardian of order. With the aid of
numerous drinks of water the once
pleasing camel was taken into the digestive organs, although it was very
unwilling.
It has been rumored that the boy did
not spend more than two weeks in the
infirmary.
THE WEATHER
Today: Not so good; cold showers
in the gymnasium.
Tomorrow: Fair; hot showers.
Next Week: Violent storm promised.
Wear your rubbers.
Page 137
Date
1921
Rights
St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/4048