1916 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1916 Yearbook
Description
THE DAILY LOAF.
Misinformation Department
ASK US ANY QUESTION, WE CAN
ANSWER IT.
Editor, Question Department: I have a
new shirt, all except the trimming. I need
eight yards of trimming, which costs $3.98
a yard. How shall I get the trimming?
PAUL KLEINFELDER.
We don't give a care, Paul darling, just
as long as you don't trim us for it.
My Dear Editor: I am going to inter-
tain the Temperance Club in my room tomorrow. Kindly tell me what to do.
PAT McGINNIS.
1 would suggest a few temperance
drinks. That would be, no doubt, new
and novel.
Dear Editor: When at a fashionable
dinner, is it proper to pin your napkin
around your neck with a safety pin?
RED COLEMAN.
Sure, Red, always "Safety First."
Editor: Kindly rush information at
once, as I am stalled out in the country,
2 2 miles from no where. When your
automobile goes "put-put" and then stops,
what is the matter with it?
LOUIS ROHRET.
It won't go.
Mr. Editor: When I offer my seat in
the Bridge Line to a lady, and she accepts,
and doesn't thank me, what shall I do.
CHARLIE KING.
Wait till the car goes around a corner,
Charlie, then jump heavily on her feet, and
thank her.
Dear Sir: When you are out in company, and there is nothing to eat except
rarebit and beer, and you can't eat cheese
and hate beer, what do you advise.
ED O'CONNOR.
Grin and bear it for once—at least bear
it; grinning is optional.
Misinformation Editor: The New York
people think that eggs with white shells
are best. The Bostonians think that those
with brown shells are best. Which is
right?
FRANK COONAN.
Neither are right. Eggs without shells
are best. The shells are liable to scratch
your throat.
Dear Sir: I have often wondered if an
acorn set its mind on growing into an oak.
Many writers tell us that if we do anything
we attain our object by our will. So probably if a turnip seed exerted its will power
as an acorn does, it, too, would become an
oak.
BILL HUGHES.
Maybe, Bill, but what would we do for
mashed turnips?
Sir: If you were a clergyman, would
you marry?
SIMON HOLTZ.
Yes, sir; any time any one came across
with the fee.
My dear Editor: All my friends tell me
that I am beautiful. Please tell me what
you think of this.
JOHN GERWE.
John, my boy, read the Good Book till
you come to the words, "All men are liars"
—then think it over.
Dear Sir: Yesterday I seen one man
wearing purple spats with white fur
around them. What shall I do?
JOE SCHMIDT.
Read one of Billie Sunday's sermons on
"Booze."
Mr. Editor: At a fashionable dinner, is
it good form to drink the soup through a
straw ?
GERALD O'TOOLE.
Nay, nay, Gerald. Never use a straw at
dinner. It is all O. K. at luncheon, but
never at dinner. Get mad at the soup and
soak it up with a piece of bread. If this
don't work, try a sponge.
Dear Mister: When out in company is
it proper to say, "I have done," or " I
have did"?
RAY McGRATH.
Never admit anything in company, Raymond. You can get away with a whole
lot more.
Ask It Editor: Every time I sit in a
game with my girl's father, and win, he
gets mad and tells me not to call at his
house any more. Then I relent and let
him win, and then he says that I am not
intelligent enough to go with his daughter.
What shall I do?
GEORGE VOLZ.
Bring your own deck of cards and trim
the old man for about twice what he is
worth. Then swap one of his worthless
I. O. U.'s for each visit to his daughter.
This scheme works all right, George; I
tried it.
Dear Editor: Who wrote Milton's "Paradise Lost," Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress,"
and Gray's "Elegy"?
WILL ROGERS.
The same woman wrote all three of
them. Her name was Anne Nonnymous.
Misinformation Department
ASK US ANY QUESTION, WE CAN
ANSWER IT.
Editor, Question Department: I have a
new shirt, all except the trimming. I need
eight yards of trimming, which costs $3.98
a yard. How shall I get the trimming?
PAUL KLEINFELDER.
We don't give a care, Paul darling, just
as long as you don't trim us for it.
My Dear Editor: I am going to inter-
tain the Temperance Club in my room tomorrow. Kindly tell me what to do.
PAT McGINNIS.
1 would suggest a few temperance
drinks. That would be, no doubt, new
and novel.
Dear Editor: When at a fashionable
dinner, is it proper to pin your napkin
around your neck with a safety pin?
RED COLEMAN.
Sure, Red, always "Safety First."
Editor: Kindly rush information at
once, as I am stalled out in the country,
2 2 miles from no where. When your
automobile goes "put-put" and then stops,
what is the matter with it?
LOUIS ROHRET.
It won't go.
Mr. Editor: When I offer my seat in
the Bridge Line to a lady, and she accepts,
and doesn't thank me, what shall I do.
CHARLIE KING.
Wait till the car goes around a corner,
Charlie, then jump heavily on her feet, and
thank her.
Dear Sir: When you are out in company, and there is nothing to eat except
rarebit and beer, and you can't eat cheese
and hate beer, what do you advise.
ED O'CONNOR.
Grin and bear it for once—at least bear
it; grinning is optional.
Misinformation Editor: The New York
people think that eggs with white shells
are best. The Bostonians think that those
with brown shells are best. Which is
right?
FRANK COONAN.
Neither are right. Eggs without shells
are best. The shells are liable to scratch
your throat.
Dear Sir: I have often wondered if an
acorn set its mind on growing into an oak.
Many writers tell us that if we do anything
we attain our object by our will. So probably if a turnip seed exerted its will power
as an acorn does, it, too, would become an
oak.
BILL HUGHES.
Maybe, Bill, but what would we do for
mashed turnips?
Sir: If you were a clergyman, would
you marry?
SIMON HOLTZ.
Yes, sir; any time any one came across
with the fee.
My dear Editor: All my friends tell me
that I am beautiful. Please tell me what
you think of this.
JOHN GERWE.
John, my boy, read the Good Book till
you come to the words, "All men are liars"
—then think it over.
Dear Sir: Yesterday I seen one man
wearing purple spats with white fur
around them. What shall I do?
JOE SCHMIDT.
Read one of Billie Sunday's sermons on
"Booze."
Mr. Editor: At a fashionable dinner, is
it good form to drink the soup through a
straw ?
GERALD O'TOOLE.
Nay, nay, Gerald. Never use a straw at
dinner. It is all O. K. at luncheon, but
never at dinner. Get mad at the soup and
soak it up with a piece of bread. If this
don't work, try a sponge.
Dear Mister: When out in company is
it proper to say, "I have done," or " I
have did"?
RAY McGRATH.
Never admit anything in company, Raymond. You can get away with a whole
lot more.
Ask It Editor: Every time I sit in a
game with my girl's father, and win, he
gets mad and tells me not to call at his
house any more. Then I relent and let
him win, and then he says that I am not
intelligent enough to go with his daughter.
What shall I do?
GEORGE VOLZ.
Bring your own deck of cards and trim
the old man for about twice what he is
worth. Then swap one of his worthless
I. O. U.'s for each visit to his daughter.
This scheme works all right, George; I
tried it.
Dear Editor: Who wrote Milton's "Paradise Lost," Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress,"
and Gray's "Elegy"?
WILL ROGERS.
The same woman wrote all three of
them. Her name was Anne Nonnymous.
Date
1916
Rights
St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/3521