Joe Will Be a Subtle Reasoner
Prof. Watters (in English) : "He walked past but he did not enter in the garden."
Peshel: "He walked past the garden."
Prof.: "No."
Peshel: "Well, if he walked past he didn't go in."
Gilbert, Again
"Fat" Watters:…
Witty
Pres.: "Why didn't you comb your hair this morning?"
Bush (rubbing his hair in great surprise) : "Ain't it combed?"
Pres.: "No! And I want to know why it isn't."
Bush: "Well, you see, there were a dozen of us using the same mirror and…
ODE ON WEST BEING SENT TO THE STUDY HALL
'Twas a bright and sunny afternoon,
Between the hour of two and three.
The two sat there in the cozy room—
Our Edwin West and Joseph B.
They were getting along so good, you know,
"I like you," said Joseph…
Please Sign Your Name
No Manuscripts Returned
MISS LOTTA BUNK'S ANSWERS TO PETTY PECULIARITIES
Dear Miss Bunk,
Red Mack wants me to go down town with him and see Virginia Dare and White
Lily next Wednesday. Should I go? Please advise me…
Rank: "What was the best bet you ever made?"
Cosgrave: "I don't know."
Rank: "The alpha-bet."
Wise One
"So you've known my son at college, eh?"
Dutch: "Sure; we slept in the same Philosophy Class."
Why, Nevin!
T. Lew: "The Study of Scarlet…
Da spring ? da spring ? You say ees here ?
No, no! You're wrong, my fren';
For still da skjr ees look so drear',
'N eet ees cold agen.
On—what you call eet?—"Groun' Hog Day"
Da sun eet shine so bright
I guess da leetla groun' hog say,
"O my! …
"Anti-Bolsheviks"
Disapproval
O'Donnell: "I don't approve of a money lender."
Morrissey: "You don't?"
O'Donnell: "No. He serves you in the present tense, leads you in the conditional
mood, keeps you in the subjective, and ruins you in the…
Foresight
Leo Hess resigned his job as care-taker of one of the
class-rooms. He was asked by J. Kenyon what the
reason was and remarked: "I'm honest, I am. Whatever I find when sweeping I always turn in. The
other night there was a notice on the…
A Good Reason
Boudewyns: "Why are you so stuck up?"
F. Hart: "I've got a right to be. I flunked more than anyone else around here."
Algebra Up to Date
Davis: "X plus Y equals X2Y2."
Lanam: "Yesterday it was only XY."
"Yes, that was…
