FIRST TEAM
Ends—
Langford, Boston.
Van Albert, Holland.
Tackles—
Mutt, New York.
Honey Boy Evans, Indiana.
Guards—
Goliath, Palestine.
Samson, Palestine.
Center—
Jimmy Wilde, England,
Quarter—
Napoleon I, France.
Half-Backs—
Ben Turpin,…
ALL-WORLD TEAM
for
ALL AGES, COUNTRIES, AND RACES
Picked
by
THE WORLD'S FIRST AND FOREMOST
ATHLETIC CRITIC
Who Has Witnessed
Each and Every
GAME
from
CAIN'S ALL-STARS vs. ABEL'S TORNADOES
to
THE THORNS vs. R. I. INDEPENDENTS
Last Sunday
These teams…
V. Costello went into L. Boyle's room and saw Leonard using a Latin pony and
exclaimed, "Aw, heck! Can't you translate that Latin without an answer book?"
Quite Annoying
Hink O'Niel : "Father, I'd like to have another room."
Fr. Hannon : "No, no, all…
Striking Resemblance
Maloney answered the door bell and the visitor asked : : "Do you happen to be one
of the professors?"
Barnes' pet expression : KIN-E-GO-TO-A-SHOW?
"T. Lew," said a "boob", "will be a great doctor some day."
"Why?" said another…
As I Was Cap
Professor : "Garvey, you ought to have your face slapped."
Garvey : "Maybe so, but I'll try my best to get along without it."
Strenuous Exercise
"What's the idea? Just because that bird is the basket ball captain, does he think
he can…
FAMOUS SAYINGS
Pieffer : I can't see where that screw got to no more!
Sinnott : Through with the Tribune yet?
G. Watters : Anybody fixed the fire yet?
The Pres.: Let's see, what's your name?
M. D.: If this isn't stopped more stringent measures will…
The boy stood on the corner,
His feet were on the ground,
His eyes were pointed forward,
And his nose was moving 'round.
He saw close by in the distance
A man riding slowly on foot,
He silently hailed the stranger
And asked for a "cigaroote".
Some…
THE MESSAGE ON THE TELEPHONE
The night was dark and cold and the wintry blasts without told woeful tales of
death and destruction. The factory districts were in a turmoil due to the recent wave
of strikes and race riots. The Toonerville police force…
