Iowa Heritage Digital Collections
State Library of Iowa

1915 Yearbook

1915 Yearbook

Title

1915 Yearbook

Description

DON'TS.
Don't put your feet on the desk; it may
set a bad example.
Don't talk in the Library; you will disturb the bookworms.
Don't yell at the waiters; they are used
to that.
Don't go out without rubbers; you will
find yourself blacklisted.
Don't study too hard; you might not be
called on anyway.
Don't hide under the bed; they will find
you anyway. (Special for private roomers.)
Don't smoke behind the handball alley;
tain't worth the risk.
Don't ask for a free day; the faculty
doesn't like it.
Don't ask for credit at Cab's; he doesn't
believe in it.
Don't snore in the dormitory; you might
meet with a shoe.
JUST IMAGINE
Bob Moehn driving his Saxon up in front
of the "Five and Ten."
Joe Schmidt getting to Greek class on
time.
Adolph Peiffer going to the Columbia.
Thomann getting up at the first tap of
the bell.
Wagner a doctor.
Kleinfelder giving a lecture.
"Peg" Marron doing a 100-yard dash in
ten seconds.
P. H. Pete in a basket ball suit.
Morrin keeping his trap shut.
Getting chicken on Sunday.
Welsh coming back on time.
Kleffman and Schmidt in vaudeville.
"Hungry" attempting to study.
Simon Holtz and "Bishop" Hughes in a
fight.
Lee Doyle with a dirty face.
Neuzil not arguing.
"ALL AMERICAN EATING TEAM."
(Not Incorporated.)
Thirsty Morrin Head
Greedy Gross Side Head
Stuffy Schnoeblen Side Head
Omnivorous Buckley End
Hungry Whalen End
Thirsty Morrin, head of the A. A. E. T.,
holds twelve medals, won in Iowa contests
in eating. He has an astounding appetite
and a desire for more. When interviewed
by an Ambrosian reporter, he said, "I owe
my success to my early training and my
robust physique."
Greedy Gross, the first one to use the
two-hand method in face feeding, is one of
the most active men on the team, since he
has an incommensurable capacity and a
proverbial bottomless pit. Although he
sends in his bread plate about seven times
in one meal, he is the author of the heartrending ballad, "I Am Starving, Mother;
Starving in Our Lonely S. A. C."
Stuffy Schnoeblen possess a 48-horsepow-
er appetite and an affection for eats. He
refuses to believe in Fletcherism and is carnivorous, herbivorous and ichtyophigous—
three in one. He holds the opinion that,
"Tain't what you want that makes you fat;
it's what you get."
Omnivorous Buckley appeared for a try-
out Sept. 10, 1914. The boy showed fast
teamwork from the start and knows every
point of the game. When asked what his
specialty was in that line, he answered,
"Everything." Although he is the youngest man on the team, he bids fair to surpass them all.
Hungry Whalen, a veteran player on the
team, has a cast-iron stomach and eats
everything, from beans to raspberry pie.
He has invented a hollow knife, so that he
can eat beans without theiri rolling off the
blade. He is an advocate of free lunch
counters and his ambition is to own a restaurant.

Date

1915

Rights

St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803

Identifier

http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/3692