1914 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1914 Yearbook
Description
THE AMERICAN THEATRE.
On Tuesday evening, October fourteenth, a little agitation took place in
that good old basement hall, known
as the College Smoker. The trifling
discussion aroused the innermost
ambition of these assiduous disciples
of linguistical, trigonometrical and
geometrical subjects. On the succeeding day of the foresaid, "Slippery
William," "Mell," and "Tiz" while
making their daily morning debut to
the bushes o'er the hill, for purposes
unknown, the following versatile
took place. Says Mell: "By Jove,
don't you know there is a beastly
clever show on at the 'American' today? If you fellows only had a
'drag' I had you should worry about
being caught." "Drag, who said
pull?" replied Slippery Bill. "Why
you're foretting what a 'standin' it
takes to hold down the dictatorship
of the 'Prep's Frat House.' " "Say,"
retorts Tiz, "Don't you know I'm a
Senior now and who ever heard of a
Fourth Year man getting anything
else but pulls and d-r-a-g-s." "Gig-
gers! Giggers!" whispered Mell, "I
move that we adjourn; let's meet at
Shafers." Gradually the psychological moment drew nigh. When Mell's
turn arrived, he approached the Master of Discipline and said, "Father,
as this is Wednesday and really, don't
you know, I have not been to the city
since Saturday and my massaging
cream disappeared last evening and
in order to keep my pulchritutinous
complexion, I really should have
some compounded this afternoon.
Father, I earnestly beseech you to
please extend my parols till five
o'clock." "Alright Mr. Morrin, sure,
sure."
Hardly had Mell made his exit
when Tiz, whose cheeks glowed with
enthusiasm, excitedly encountered
the Master of Discipline, and earnestly implored the grant of a furlough
till five thirty, so that he could have
a prescription filled which was ordered by the noted specialist, Dr. Don
Juan Rosenthal, formerly of Drim-
taidhvrikhillichatan, Scotland, but
now of the great metropolis, West-
phalis.
When asked to read the prescription by the Disciplinarian, Mr. Fra-
zier read the following: No. 27846
—Triketohydrinderihydrate of Tet-
raethylammoniumhydroxide— twelve
drops every four hours—Dr. D. J. R.
He was immediately dismissed by the
Master of Discipline with the coveted
permission. The next applicant for
leave of absence was "Slippery Bill"
Schmidt, who requested for charity's
sake to meet his rich uncle, Von Epi-
fanio Zinzotita Schmidt, an heir to
the estate of Kaninagaderaooroosoo-
mokanvoganagira in the German Empire. The Master of Discipline discharged William on the condition
that he return in time for supper.
The prevaricators, according to the
mutual agreement, assembled at the
much frequented cafe, Shafer's, to
complete the scheme. Shortly before
two thirty-five Mell was seen approaching the box office and calling
for three twenty centers, front row.
When the theatrical performance convened, Slippery Bill whispered to Tiz
"Vos'nt dat goot?" To our friend's
great horror the city clock then
peeled forth the hour of six. About
fifteen minutes later the three sneak-
ingly entered the Refectory from a
side entrance. After supper they had
the honor of an audience with the
Very Reverend President, who demanded a brief and concise explanation of their failure to return at the
appointed time. As the explanation
proved very unsatisfactory the names
of the triumvirate immediately appeared on the "Black-list" signifying
six weeks of seclusion.
C. M. McD.
ZENO'S JOKES!
Philos. Prof.: Mr. Welsh, what is
the correlative of father?
Welsh: Papa.
Class: Har, har, har. (Welsh
faints.)
On Tuesday evening, October fourteenth, a little agitation took place in
that good old basement hall, known
as the College Smoker. The trifling
discussion aroused the innermost
ambition of these assiduous disciples
of linguistical, trigonometrical and
geometrical subjects. On the succeeding day of the foresaid, "Slippery
William," "Mell," and "Tiz" while
making their daily morning debut to
the bushes o'er the hill, for purposes
unknown, the following versatile
took place. Says Mell: "By Jove,
don't you know there is a beastly
clever show on at the 'American' today? If you fellows only had a
'drag' I had you should worry about
being caught." "Drag, who said
pull?" replied Slippery Bill. "Why
you're foretting what a 'standin' it
takes to hold down the dictatorship
of the 'Prep's Frat House.' " "Say,"
retorts Tiz, "Don't you know I'm a
Senior now and who ever heard of a
Fourth Year man getting anything
else but pulls and d-r-a-g-s." "Gig-
gers! Giggers!" whispered Mell, "I
move that we adjourn; let's meet at
Shafers." Gradually the psychological moment drew nigh. When Mell's
turn arrived, he approached the Master of Discipline and said, "Father,
as this is Wednesday and really, don't
you know, I have not been to the city
since Saturday and my massaging
cream disappeared last evening and
in order to keep my pulchritutinous
complexion, I really should have
some compounded this afternoon.
Father, I earnestly beseech you to
please extend my parols till five
o'clock." "Alright Mr. Morrin, sure,
sure."
Hardly had Mell made his exit
when Tiz, whose cheeks glowed with
enthusiasm, excitedly encountered
the Master of Discipline, and earnestly implored the grant of a furlough
till five thirty, so that he could have
a prescription filled which was ordered by the noted specialist, Dr. Don
Juan Rosenthal, formerly of Drim-
taidhvrikhillichatan, Scotland, but
now of the great metropolis, West-
phalis.
When asked to read the prescription by the Disciplinarian, Mr. Fra-
zier read the following: No. 27846
—Triketohydrinderihydrate of Tet-
raethylammoniumhydroxide— twelve
drops every four hours—Dr. D. J. R.
He was immediately dismissed by the
Master of Discipline with the coveted
permission. The next applicant for
leave of absence was "Slippery Bill"
Schmidt, who requested for charity's
sake to meet his rich uncle, Von Epi-
fanio Zinzotita Schmidt, an heir to
the estate of Kaninagaderaooroosoo-
mokanvoganagira in the German Empire. The Master of Discipline discharged William on the condition
that he return in time for supper.
The prevaricators, according to the
mutual agreement, assembled at the
much frequented cafe, Shafer's, to
complete the scheme. Shortly before
two thirty-five Mell was seen approaching the box office and calling
for three twenty centers, front row.
When the theatrical performance convened, Slippery Bill whispered to Tiz
"Vos'nt dat goot?" To our friend's
great horror the city clock then
peeled forth the hour of six. About
fifteen minutes later the three sneak-
ingly entered the Refectory from a
side entrance. After supper they had
the honor of an audience with the
Very Reverend President, who demanded a brief and concise explanation of their failure to return at the
appointed time. As the explanation
proved very unsatisfactory the names
of the triumvirate immediately appeared on the "Black-list" signifying
six weeks of seclusion.
C. M. McD.
ZENO'S JOKES!
Philos. Prof.: Mr. Welsh, what is
the correlative of father?
Welsh: Papa.
Class: Har, har, har. (Welsh
faints.)
Date
1914
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/3340