1914 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1914 Yearbook
Description
A PHILOSOPHER.
Some say that a philosopher is a
lover of wisdom, but in the language
at St. Ambrose he is one who goes
around looking wise and appearing
to be in a most sublime state of mind.
He usually talks in such an exalted
manner that the lounger chaps think
he is doing so to appear like an intellectual genius. He seems to be deeply concerned with the social and political questions which confront the
thinking man of today and of course
he commands the respect of all who
are unfortunate enough to be under
him.
The "Phil's" at S. A. C. hang up
their coats on the second floor which
has been properly or improperly
called "Wisdom Row." Here they
lead their quiet little life amid their
books and little games of chess. Here
are expounded doctrines which would
reflect credit upon an Aristotle or
Plato. Here are debated questions
philosophical or not philosophical
(most not). Here are arising the intellectual giants of tomorrow. If one
were to drop around on "wisdom
row" some day and hear the logical
reasoning of Marcus Confucious Russell, he would imagine that he heard
the voice of Prof. James; also if he
should happen to hear G. Bruno Neu-
zal rid himself of some of his philosophical phrases to young Kelley and
Scanlon in his reading class, he could
not help but feel that all the great
men did not live in the past. Dr.
Mediconus Rosenthal has shown how
a bottle of "pluto" can be opened according to the rules of logic—and
herein lies his bid for fame. Besides
these noted thinkers there are many
other noted "phil's" such as John
Zano Cash, a very lean man but a
deep scholar, and James Welsh, who
is opposed to pessimism of the Schop-
penhauer.
A philosopher appears to have
many privileges and he also presides
at the head of the tables. He is in
the way most of the time when the
other fellows want to take a peep at
the Prince Albert can but he is an in-
dispensible quantity when the crowd
desires a free day or an extension of
the Christmas holiday. The greatest
philosophers who have lived are Aristotle, Plato, and "Socrates" Ligutti
from Sunny Italy.
Hank: You can not drive a nail
with a sponge, no matter how many
times you soak it."
M. W.: Say, I have been looking
in the Post for the last ten minutes
and can not find a story by the name
of "Two Million a Week."
J. S.: Well, you boob, that means
a circulation of two million a week.
Zeno: I don't want to appear
boastful, but the beauty of my writings render people absolutely speechless.
Kerrigan: Hooray! I must have
Ligutti read them.
J. W.: Why have you given up
smoking?
H. S.: I consider it effeminate.
J. W.: Jew says he is weary of
visiting in a small appartment.
Dave: A case of flat-tire, eh?
NOT A KNOCKER'S SONG.
Here's to the blue and white,
Our banner we hold most dear,
Oh, let's cherish it faithfully,
Through all the coming year.
Prof.: Why do many college boys
misspell so often?
Mike: Probably because they pay
more attention to the miss than to
the spell.
NOTICE.
If you have heard this stuff before,
shh—somebody else might fall for it.
Some say that a philosopher is a
lover of wisdom, but in the language
at St. Ambrose he is one who goes
around looking wise and appearing
to be in a most sublime state of mind.
He usually talks in such an exalted
manner that the lounger chaps think
he is doing so to appear like an intellectual genius. He seems to be deeply concerned with the social and political questions which confront the
thinking man of today and of course
he commands the respect of all who
are unfortunate enough to be under
him.
The "Phil's" at S. A. C. hang up
their coats on the second floor which
has been properly or improperly
called "Wisdom Row." Here they
lead their quiet little life amid their
books and little games of chess. Here
are expounded doctrines which would
reflect credit upon an Aristotle or
Plato. Here are debated questions
philosophical or not philosophical
(most not). Here are arising the intellectual giants of tomorrow. If one
were to drop around on "wisdom
row" some day and hear the logical
reasoning of Marcus Confucious Russell, he would imagine that he heard
the voice of Prof. James; also if he
should happen to hear G. Bruno Neu-
zal rid himself of some of his philosophical phrases to young Kelley and
Scanlon in his reading class, he could
not help but feel that all the great
men did not live in the past. Dr.
Mediconus Rosenthal has shown how
a bottle of "pluto" can be opened according to the rules of logic—and
herein lies his bid for fame. Besides
these noted thinkers there are many
other noted "phil's" such as John
Zano Cash, a very lean man but a
deep scholar, and James Welsh, who
is opposed to pessimism of the Schop-
penhauer.
A philosopher appears to have
many privileges and he also presides
at the head of the tables. He is in
the way most of the time when the
other fellows want to take a peep at
the Prince Albert can but he is an in-
dispensible quantity when the crowd
desires a free day or an extension of
the Christmas holiday. The greatest
philosophers who have lived are Aristotle, Plato, and "Socrates" Ligutti
from Sunny Italy.
Hank: You can not drive a nail
with a sponge, no matter how many
times you soak it."
M. W.: Say, I have been looking
in the Post for the last ten minutes
and can not find a story by the name
of "Two Million a Week."
J. S.: Well, you boob, that means
a circulation of two million a week.
Zeno: I don't want to appear
boastful, but the beauty of my writings render people absolutely speechless.
Kerrigan: Hooray! I must have
Ligutti read them.
J. W.: Why have you given up
smoking?
H. S.: I consider it effeminate.
J. W.: Jew says he is weary of
visiting in a small appartment.
Dave: A case of flat-tire, eh?
NOT A KNOCKER'S SONG.
Here's to the blue and white,
Our banner we hold most dear,
Oh, let's cherish it faithfully,
Through all the coming year.
Prof.: Why do many college boys
misspell so often?
Mike: Probably because they pay
more attention to the miss than to
the spell.
NOTICE.
If you have heard this stuff before,
shh—somebody else might fall for it.
Date
1914
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/3339