1923 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1923 Yearbook
Description
THE PEST
Astonishing Discovery On The Invention of Golf
How large is your vocabulary?
Did you ever take the time to sit
and think and figure how many
words you have at your command
for the occasion of ordinary everyday conversation? It would be interesting to stage a contest along
this line to determine the absolute
monarch of "talkdom." However
all dyed-in-the-wool golfers would
be barred from competition. The
reason is obvious.
This brings us to the topic in
question—Golf—a superb topic and
a magnificent word. A most useful household word to say the least.
When hubby takes a notion to call
on "that other woman," he simply
tells wifey that he must hie himself to the links "for a round or
two of golf." Yes the word GOLF
is a rather beautiful expression.
Golf has a colorful past. No,
not the "poiple woman with a past"
kind, but a healthy, good, and absolutely innocent kind. It is my intention to relate to my kind and patient readers a bit of the history of
this awe-inspiring pastime. Writings of this sort have been submitted to the public by their authors
from time to time, but never have
any of these authors gone back
more than one hundred or one hnu-
dred and fifty years I will take
you back to many years before the
advent of the much newspapered
King Tutankamen. Think of it
and marvel, nearly 4000 long years
ago. And I have proofs to back
up my assertions. In fact I have
myriads of photographs which were
taken at the time the great game
received its first tryout. The curiosity-seeking public is urged, nay,
I even say brazenly, literally asked
to inspect my department of Egyptological golf. My man, Meadows,
will be only too willing to escort
anyone through the sacred sanctums.
There one can see the original pictures of the still more original golf
paraphernalia.
Now to return once more to the
topic at hand. The ancient Egyp-
tian Pharaohs, quite naturally, were
the proud possessors of grandpas
and grandmas. Now these grandpas and grandmas in turn had
grandpas and grandmas of their
own. King Tut's grandparents
were in this position, therefore we
come to the logical conclusion that
dear old Tut had great grandparents too. Rampah was the name
used in addressing Tut's greatgrandfather; Rampahdine was the
great-grandmother's name. Rampah was a great rounder. He belonged to all the ledges and civic
organizations of that day. He was
a wealthy old "codger" but rather
henpecked.
It so happened that on a certain
balmy spring evening in the year
2077 B. C. Rampah had occasion to
attend a session of the Elks. The
party waxed merrily on and little
attention was paid to the latest in
Ingersolls. As all entertainments
do, this one gradually came to an
end. A straight line is the shortest
distance between two points; but
only a few of the brothers were
able to find the line on the homeward journey. Rampah, after a
rather hectic struggle through "foreign lands," succeeded in reaching
his own estate. Here his troubles
most emphatically did not end. He
mistook the woodpile for the front
stairs; he walked over the glass-
covered hot-bed, wondering why
the freezing weather extended so
far into the Spring; he cursed long
and loud the bird who stole the
old family key-hole. He then ooz-
(Continued on Page 6)
THE RESCUE
WHO WANTS A BABY?
(Continued from Page 1)
achievement is the ability with
which it speaks Chinese, the language of its people.
We feel sure that our Treasure
will appeal to some one. This is
the last of the twenty babies and
cannot be exchanged. If you care
to adopt this baby, see me: Joe
Mack, Custodian.
(Continued from Page 2)
Stepping to the center of the ring,
he beckons to a man who, unnoticed
by the crowd, had carried a large
coil of rope in the wake of the
rescuer. With exasperating slowness and apparent apathy he unwound the rope, on the end of which
was a heavy hook. Grasping the
line a yard from the hook, the man
whirls it, lariat-like, about his head
and as it gyrates he gradually plays
out more and more line until its
hook whirls ominously near the
heads of those who bound the ring.
Displaying marvelous strength and
skill he heaved the rope. Writhing snake-like it shot up and up—
only to fall short of its destination
by inches. With the same grating,
indifferent, slowness he hauls in the
line. The operation is repeated and
this time the hook hurtles through
the window pane with a crash.
And, as the victim listens for instructions from below, the hero is
a strong, clear voice calls out, "Tie
it around your waist." This done,
the woman clambers out upon the
window sill.
Then while the huge throng
watches, breathless, open-mouthed,
wide-eyed, the hero tauts the rope
and jerks her off.
The body is at the Turner Mortuary and is as yet unindentified.
On Tuesday evening, between the
hours of four and five, Professor
Watters held an impromptu reception in the Jug room for the
benefit of his arithmetic class. Mr.
Watters intimated that these meetings might be held oftener in the
near future. Those who desire to
come will please present themselves
to Mr. Watters at class time without their common denominators.
Astonishing Discovery On The Invention of Golf
How large is your vocabulary?
Did you ever take the time to sit
and think and figure how many
words you have at your command
for the occasion of ordinary everyday conversation? It would be interesting to stage a contest along
this line to determine the absolute
monarch of "talkdom." However
all dyed-in-the-wool golfers would
be barred from competition. The
reason is obvious.
This brings us to the topic in
question—Golf—a superb topic and
a magnificent word. A most useful household word to say the least.
When hubby takes a notion to call
on "that other woman," he simply
tells wifey that he must hie himself to the links "for a round or
two of golf." Yes the word GOLF
is a rather beautiful expression.
Golf has a colorful past. No,
not the "poiple woman with a past"
kind, but a healthy, good, and absolutely innocent kind. It is my intention to relate to my kind and patient readers a bit of the history of
this awe-inspiring pastime. Writings of this sort have been submitted to the public by their authors
from time to time, but never have
any of these authors gone back
more than one hundred or one hnu-
dred and fifty years I will take
you back to many years before the
advent of the much newspapered
King Tutankamen. Think of it
and marvel, nearly 4000 long years
ago. And I have proofs to back
up my assertions. In fact I have
myriads of photographs which were
taken at the time the great game
received its first tryout. The curiosity-seeking public is urged, nay,
I even say brazenly, literally asked
to inspect my department of Egyptological golf. My man, Meadows,
will be only too willing to escort
anyone through the sacred sanctums.
There one can see the original pictures of the still more original golf
paraphernalia.
Now to return once more to the
topic at hand. The ancient Egyp-
tian Pharaohs, quite naturally, were
the proud possessors of grandpas
and grandmas. Now these grandpas and grandmas in turn had
grandpas and grandmas of their
own. King Tut's grandparents
were in this position, therefore we
come to the logical conclusion that
dear old Tut had great grandparents too. Rampah was the name
used in addressing Tut's greatgrandfather; Rampahdine was the
great-grandmother's name. Rampah was a great rounder. He belonged to all the ledges and civic
organizations of that day. He was
a wealthy old "codger" but rather
henpecked.
It so happened that on a certain
balmy spring evening in the year
2077 B. C. Rampah had occasion to
attend a session of the Elks. The
party waxed merrily on and little
attention was paid to the latest in
Ingersolls. As all entertainments
do, this one gradually came to an
end. A straight line is the shortest
distance between two points; but
only a few of the brothers were
able to find the line on the homeward journey. Rampah, after a
rather hectic struggle through "foreign lands," succeeded in reaching
his own estate. Here his troubles
most emphatically did not end. He
mistook the woodpile for the front
stairs; he walked over the glass-
covered hot-bed, wondering why
the freezing weather extended so
far into the Spring; he cursed long
and loud the bird who stole the
old family key-hole. He then ooz-
(Continued on Page 6)
THE RESCUE
WHO WANTS A BABY?
(Continued from Page 1)
achievement is the ability with
which it speaks Chinese, the language of its people.
We feel sure that our Treasure
will appeal to some one. This is
the last of the twenty babies and
cannot be exchanged. If you care
to adopt this baby, see me: Joe
Mack, Custodian.
(Continued from Page 2)
Stepping to the center of the ring,
he beckons to a man who, unnoticed
by the crowd, had carried a large
coil of rope in the wake of the
rescuer. With exasperating slowness and apparent apathy he unwound the rope, on the end of which
was a heavy hook. Grasping the
line a yard from the hook, the man
whirls it, lariat-like, about his head
and as it gyrates he gradually plays
out more and more line until its
hook whirls ominously near the
heads of those who bound the ring.
Displaying marvelous strength and
skill he heaved the rope. Writhing snake-like it shot up and up—
only to fall short of its destination
by inches. With the same grating,
indifferent, slowness he hauls in the
line. The operation is repeated and
this time the hook hurtles through
the window pane with a crash.
And, as the victim listens for instructions from below, the hero is
a strong, clear voice calls out, "Tie
it around your waist." This done,
the woman clambers out upon the
window sill.
Then while the huge throng
watches, breathless, open-mouthed,
wide-eyed, the hero tauts the rope
and jerks her off.
The body is at the Turner Mortuary and is as yet unindentified.
On Tuesday evening, between the
hours of four and five, Professor
Watters held an impromptu reception in the Jug room for the
benefit of his arithmetic class. Mr.
Watters intimated that these meetings might be held oftener in the
near future. Those who desire to
come will please present themselves
to Mr. Watters at class time without their common denominators.
Date
1923
Rights
St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/7734