1923 Yearbook
Source URL
Title
1923 Yearbook
Description
The Pest
Tomb it May
Concern
VOLUME A. T.
GALENA HALL
No. XII
Student Proves Coue's Auto-Suggestion To Be A Fact
"TINY" DONATUS WINS
PERFECT BABY
CONTEST
At last the suspense is over. The
Pest staff of physicians have found
the perfect baby. Much time and
energy were expended in combing
the campus for nature's finest, and
it was not until upward of three
hundred babies were examined that
the winner could be determined.
It is no other than "Tiny Donatus,"
the chubby little Davenport youngster who resides at 1600 Gaines St.
The contest was held under the
auspices of the Quarterly Examination Board and has conformed to
the rules and regulations of that
body in every respect. The judges
were nine in number and were selected because of their ability to give
tough exams. Many objections
were raised by the fond parents of
the unfortunates but the judges were
firm and in due time little Donatus
will be firmly encased in his leather
medal. We point with pride to
the Perfect Baby, the unanimous
choice of all the judges. Second
prize was awarded to Frank Kelly,
while honorable mention was accorded the following: J. Collins,
Leo Sterck, Gilbert Watters, George
Bouquot, Edwin West and Werner
Schoenfelder. You will find pictures of contestants on page 9.
WEATHER
We don't care weather you read
this or weather you don't
WHO WANTS A BABY
Who of us has not heard the
sound of childish laughter, of the
pit-pat of little feet as they tripped
down the hall to kiss papa good
night? Who has been reared in a
home where the pranks of early
childhood were not? Who has not
listened night after night to the pitiful wails of a "Croupy" baby or
walked the floor until the early
hours in the vain endeavor to quiet
the child?
For the benefit of those who have
not we are addressing the following:
One baby, age 5, height 3 feet
weight 50 pounds, complexion ba-
by pink, eyes of azure blue; cries
in a beautiful soprano, not more
than ten times a day and not more
than 10 minutes at a time; very
intelligent, and readily discerns
milk from sleigh bells attached to a
water bottle; very attractive, has
all the ear marks of a president, or
a Charlie Chaplin. Its crowning
(Continued on Page 3)
BARNUM WAS RIGHT
The capacity for suggestibility of
man was determined at Davis Hall
one day prior to the Easter vacation. It was at the time when the
first signs of Spring had visited the
Campus, and the spirit of mischiev-
ousness had found its expression in
such childish actions as knotting the
bed clothes.
It so happened that the one and
only "Looie" was so unfortunate
as to catch a cold all by himself.
'Ere long the fourth floor inhabitants knew all about the horrid disease. Consequently, various boys
of the kind-hearted variety insisted
that Looie's color was terribly "wishy-washy," his eyes so "drippy-
droopy," that he must be "really-
rully" sick.
After much insistence our Looie,
convinced that he was sick, and after fighting desparately to ward off
the disease, consented to be put to
bed.
"Doctor" Watters was called in
on the case, and he immediately
began the battle with clutching
death. He timed the fast-mounting
pulse, (with an alarm clock) and
he knew at once that the patient
"had all the symphonies of the
dangerous fever"—as he later explained in the diagnosis to the students. Quickly into the quivering
mouth of the sick man the doctor
forced six large chalky substanecs,
labeled fever pills, but nevertheless possessing the physical force
of a quart of Don Pluto.
The medicine began to work and
the patient demanded relief, but
"Doctor" Watters knew that this
was merely the demand of a fevered brain. He called on his as-
(Continued on Page 2)
Tomb it May
Concern
VOLUME A. T.
GALENA HALL
No. XII
Student Proves Coue's Auto-Suggestion To Be A Fact
"TINY" DONATUS WINS
PERFECT BABY
CONTEST
At last the suspense is over. The
Pest staff of physicians have found
the perfect baby. Much time and
energy were expended in combing
the campus for nature's finest, and
it was not until upward of three
hundred babies were examined that
the winner could be determined.
It is no other than "Tiny Donatus,"
the chubby little Davenport youngster who resides at 1600 Gaines St.
The contest was held under the
auspices of the Quarterly Examination Board and has conformed to
the rules and regulations of that
body in every respect. The judges
were nine in number and were selected because of their ability to give
tough exams. Many objections
were raised by the fond parents of
the unfortunates but the judges were
firm and in due time little Donatus
will be firmly encased in his leather
medal. We point with pride to
the Perfect Baby, the unanimous
choice of all the judges. Second
prize was awarded to Frank Kelly,
while honorable mention was accorded the following: J. Collins,
Leo Sterck, Gilbert Watters, George
Bouquot, Edwin West and Werner
Schoenfelder. You will find pictures of contestants on page 9.
WEATHER
We don't care weather you read
this or weather you don't
WHO WANTS A BABY
Who of us has not heard the
sound of childish laughter, of the
pit-pat of little feet as they tripped
down the hall to kiss papa good
night? Who has been reared in a
home where the pranks of early
childhood were not? Who has not
listened night after night to the pitiful wails of a "Croupy" baby or
walked the floor until the early
hours in the vain endeavor to quiet
the child?
For the benefit of those who have
not we are addressing the following:
One baby, age 5, height 3 feet
weight 50 pounds, complexion ba-
by pink, eyes of azure blue; cries
in a beautiful soprano, not more
than ten times a day and not more
than 10 minutes at a time; very
intelligent, and readily discerns
milk from sleigh bells attached to a
water bottle; very attractive, has
all the ear marks of a president, or
a Charlie Chaplin. Its crowning
(Continued on Page 3)
BARNUM WAS RIGHT
The capacity for suggestibility of
man was determined at Davis Hall
one day prior to the Easter vacation. It was at the time when the
first signs of Spring had visited the
Campus, and the spirit of mischiev-
ousness had found its expression in
such childish actions as knotting the
bed clothes.
It so happened that the one and
only "Looie" was so unfortunate
as to catch a cold all by himself.
'Ere long the fourth floor inhabitants knew all about the horrid disease. Consequently, various boys
of the kind-hearted variety insisted
that Looie's color was terribly "wishy-washy," his eyes so "drippy-
droopy," that he must be "really-
rully" sick.
After much insistence our Looie,
convinced that he was sick, and after fighting desparately to ward off
the disease, consented to be put to
bed.
"Doctor" Watters was called in
on the case, and he immediately
began the battle with clutching
death. He timed the fast-mounting
pulse, (with an alarm clock) and
he knew at once that the patient
"had all the symphonies of the
dangerous fever"—as he later explained in the diagnosis to the students. Quickly into the quivering
mouth of the sick man the doctor
forced six large chalky substanecs,
labeled fever pills, but nevertheless possessing the physical force
of a quart of Don Pluto.
The medicine began to work and
the patient demanded relief, but
"Doctor" Watters knew that this
was merely the demand of a fevered brain. He called on his as-
(Continued on Page 2)
Date
1923
Rights
St. Ambrose University, 518 W. Locust St., Davenport, IA 52803
Identifier
http://cdm16810.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/p16810coll2/id/7732