To be or not to be? That is the question which confronts the minds of the youthful
citizen of today. Those who think it ought to be ; why? And those who think it
ought not to be. Why not? To those who say that it should be ; why should it be?
THE DOWNFALL OF FELIX
There was a tumult in the gym,
The mighty Shirk was on a tear ;
And the mighty one was craving
Just one grasp at Elmer's hair.
Elmer and his pal, Eugene,
Had braved the wrath of Mr. Shirk,
Then the Captain put on steam,
Then at Elmer he extended
One large and grimy paw,
But Bruhn's clever and hard hitting
Played sweet music on Shirk's jaw.
Felix then returned to Dreamland,
Where no Elmer and no 'Gene
Could disturb his peaceful slumber,
Could upset his life…
As I sit here and think
Of The numerous excuses
Which Come to my mind
For Sleeping over mornings,
And Flow sorry
I Am for the poor fellow
Who Hasn't an excuse,
I Feel inclined
Some Of that knowledge
To These forlorn ones.
Quite So, Watson, Quite So
Sternberg : "Behold me in the flower of manhood."
Murphy : "Yes, you blooming idiot."
Too Good for Some
Fottrel : "I wonder why they hung that picture?"
Nolan : "Perhaps they couldn't find the artist."
THE MESSAGE ON THE TELEPHONE
The night was dark and cold and the wintry blasts without told woeful tales of
death and destruction. The factory districts were in a turmoil due to the recent wave
of strikes and race riots. The Toonerville police force…
The boy stood on the corner,
His feet were on the ground,
His eyes were pointed forward,
And his nose was moving 'round.
He saw close by in the distance
A man riding slowly on foot,
He silently hailed the stranger
And asked for a "cigaroote".
Pieffer : I can't see where that screw got to no more!
Sinnott : Through with the Tribune yet?
G. Watters : Anybody fixed the fire yet?
The Pres.: Let's see, what's your name?
M. D.: If this isn't stopped more stringent measures will…